Nick Hardaway shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Hi Nick , thank you so much for joining us today. We’re thrilled to learn more about your journey, values and what you are currently working on. Let’s start with an ice breaker: What is a normal day like for you right now?
A normal day for me is waking up saying my prayers and setting my intentions for what I want the day going forward to look like. I shoot content for my daily morning reel “Morning Vlog with Nick,” while getting dressed and ready for the day ahead. I then make my daily smoothie with a light breakfast depending on how I’m feeling, and either drive to get coffee or make a cup at home. I answer a few creator emails and then post already edited content to my socials and edit a few more reels for better time management and consistent daily posting throughout the week.
I just recently left my corporate job after almost three years of feeling the weight of being in a toxic work environment which seems to be normalized in today’s job force, but can definitely set you back especially for a creator such as myself. I believe anything in life that mentally is draining you and causing you internal suffering is a price too high to pay with your physical and mental well being and a change must be made for your safety and well being. In order to move forward.
I just recently became a stylist with Nordstrom so depending on the week if I can be out of there by 5 I’m able to make my workout sessions with my trainer before racing home to cook dinner or sometimes happy hour with friends to catch up.
Although every day doesn’t go as smoothly as I mentioned I try to keep a consistent schedule throughout the week, which is important to stay focused on the things that matter and bring me joy, and not be moved when things come along that threaten to disrupt my peace.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am a men’s stylist, content creator, brand developer & model. I started in the industry at a young age acting in local and larger theatre’s within northeastern Ohio. Which would later open the door for me to be signed and get representation with a talent agent, with whom I had and continue to have success with through commercial and lifestyle print opportunities. Modeling over the years has helped me build an amazing portfolio of work with some of the best photographers from Columbus, LA, Miami, Charlotte etc and with top brands such as McDonald’s, Huffy, Marriott, and Express. Within that success has been periods where things felt stagnant and the work wasn’t coming in as consistently as it once was when I first started, and this taught me the power of the pivot.
I have learned throughout the years that being able to pivot when things are not working out keeps you more successful than remaining comfortable in and around people, places and things that no longer serve you or your purpose, and from that comes new doors of opportunity that may not have been available before.
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
As a child I felt I wasn’t enough because of how different I was from other children around me. I was a child that was sensitive, full of imagination, and definitely dramatic but was sweet and outspoken. I grew up in a time where everything around me was categorized… e.g. Masculine/Feminine, Boy/Girl, etc.
My childhood was amazing but I often felt confused when it came to the things I loved being placed into gender conforming views. By adults who had deep insecurities that were placed upon me at a young age before I was old enough to understand what they really were.
I always say that a child doesn’t equate liking specific things based off of gender but solely off of how that thing makes them feel when they see it. As a child I wanted to get my nails done because I thought seeing women with their nails painted was pretty and I wanted mine to look the same with all the colors.
I only would later as a child equate having polish on your nails as something “only girl’s” do and grew up feeling guilty for liking and wanting certain things that were deemed more feminine and not masculine.
These ideals growing up caused me a world of pain and confusion and led me down years of guilt and insecurity.
As an adult that has grown and evolved I have been able to embrace the parts of myself that others wanted me to hide, and fully step into my power by being authentically ME, nail polish and all.
Getting my nails done as an almost 40 year old man is not only part of my self care routine to relax, but has also helped to heal and free my inner child who felt boxed in by societal labels that he was too young to know or understand.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Suffering taught me how strong and resilient I am. These last few years have been VERY tough but rewarding at the same time. It took me losing everything I knew and worked for and having to start over, for me to understand the power in trusting gods plan for my life even when things around me were crumbling.
It took having to lose people I thought would always be around, for me to step fully in my power and not being afraid to fail, ask for help, or be ashamed of losing people out of fear of being alone.
Success feels amazing when you experience it but is not linear. There are times I have felt disregarded and overlooked and still some times can feel that way, but above all of that I am my biggest cheerleader and that keeps me going.
Success didn’t teach me the true power in learning to leave the table and create my own seat at the table, when chaos and confusion was being served…suffering did.
There is so much power in life’s pivots if only we have the mental and physical strength, and unshakable faith in knowing that all storms subside and the sun will shine brighter on the other side.
I used to feel that my dreams and desires weren’t achievable when opportunities wouldn’t come in the way I had envisioned. I am the living proof that when doors open it may not look like how we envisioned but each opportunity is the key to unlocking some of the greatest and wildest dreams unforeseen and not prayed for into fruition. If only we give ourselves a chance to experience them.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? Is the public version of you the real you?
When you g-R-O-W through things in life that have negatively affected you, it not only builds you an armor where you feel safe and protected but also build walls as you place individuals whom may have harmed you in the past as my therapist calls as the “the guy in the Yellow jacket”.
When this metaphor was presented to me in a session it shook me to my core, because it further explained how I had allowed my past trauma to place individuals unknowingly in a box if and when they presented any similarities that resembled people from my past that hurt me.
Although therapy has allowed me to have a better discernment when it comes to who I allow in, I still think I am guarded in many ways, specifically when it comes to my public (armor) persona that most know of me. I have built a brand that remains true and is a glimpse into what I love and do (Model, Fashion & Lifestyle) but often has blurred lines within it, because I give just enough where it feels like people know me but really know nothing at all.
I have just now over the last couple of years become more comfortable with giving my audience more of me… RAW and UNFILTERED, and have come up with creative ways through things like my Youtube series “Cocktails w/Nick which you’ll see in the new upcoming season, guests come on having real authentic conversation’s over a cocktail. As well as my daily mini vlog series “Morning vlog w/Nick,” where I give an authentic view into my morning routine as I get ready for the day.
The public version of me is real but with anything in life there is layers to it. There are some but very few people who truly know Nicholas not Nick. These individuals have been my life line when I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and provided a safe space for me to land when things got dark. That is the most important thing to me beyond anything public… feeling safe among people I can trust and who allow me to take off the armor.
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: What will you regret not doing?
I will regret not choosing to create and live the life I desire and have envisioned for myself. A life filled with my own family, creative success, styling for red carpets, spiritual, mental, physical & financial-freedom, and to know the power of pure continuous JOY.
That is not fleeting and that can only come from walking fully in my purpose, on purpose while being a mirror for young gay black men, who just like me feel or have felt that they weren’t enough, for simply just being themselves unapologetically, and that showing up fully as themselves is their superpower and will always be enough. 🙂
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mec.mode/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mec.mode.7
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=mecmode
Image Credits
Photographer: Tasha Tomecko for Tasha Tomecko Photography
Stylist: Nick Hardaway for Mecmode
