Today we’d like to introduce you to John-Michael Lander.
Hi John, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
I am John-Michael Lander; a former Olympic diving contender and sexual abuse survivor. As a 15-year-old Olympic Bound athlete, the adults entrusted with my training, groomed and trafficked me into silence, causing the most exciting time of my life to be filled with shame and guilt while I went on to win gold medals at Norway and Danish Cups.
One of the adults entrusted in my training was Dr. Strauss at The Ohio State University, the largest abuse scandal in the history of American higher education involving males. Today, I share how abusers, like Dr. Strauss, use what I call the Predatory Grooming Trifecta. The predator grooms the organization first, the parents second, and then the child, which allows this predator to go undetected for years.
It is reported that 1-in-6 males are sexually abused before 18 (1in6.org). I believe these numbers are higher since it is easy to disguise male sexual abuse as hazing, initiation, or rite-of-passage. I would like to share with your audience ways to detect that Predatory Grooming is happening in your child’s programs right now. And how to determine signs of sexual exploitation and trafficking. I want to help parents, so their child is not a statistic.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
The healing journey for any survivor is filled with challenges and triggers. Every day, it is like managing a minefield, second-guessing every decision and fearful that the past will collide with the present. The hardest part for a survivor is accepting that the events happened and that it was not the survivor’s fault. We are groomed to believe we caused the traumatic events or it would never have happened in the first place.
As male survivors, we are constantly dealing with Toxic Masculinity, Masculine Anxiety, and the myth that males cannot be sexually abused unless they wanted it to happen. Our Patriarchal society is built on the belief that “real men” will fight back and never find themselves in these situations. The long-term effects of child sexual abuse are filled with PTSD, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addictions, and even suicide.
It has been challenging to share how the Predatory Grooming Trifecta can allow predators to go undetected for years in sports, schools, churches, businesses, etc. Society doesn’t want to acknowledge this could happen in their child’s institutions and sports organizations. They also do not want to believe that Trafficking can happen in their neighborhoods.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I am an advocate, speaker, and writer for sexually abused athletes. I founded An Athlete’s Silence, in which I provide a voice for those who are voiceless or afraid to step forward to report. I help survivors find their truth and voice and recognize that they are no longer a victim, alone, or broken. https://anathletessilence.com/
I am on the Board of Directors for The Army of Survivors, a survivor-led organization that is working to bring accountability, transparency, and awareness to sexual violence against athletes. https://thearmyofsurvivors.org/
And I am an affiliate of Self-Talk Institute and Self-Talk Plus+, which is led by Dr. Shad Helmstetter and focuses on rewiring your brain from negative self-talk to positive self-talk. https://www.selftalkplus.com? utmrefer=Jmla
I am researching the Predatory Grooming Trifecta, where the predator grooms the institution/organization first, the parents/guardians second, and then finally the child/target; which allows this predator to go undetected for years.
Also, I am trying to illustrate that predators do not follow a strategic step-by-step process to groom and abuse children. Each predator is unique and creates its process, and will even alter the process if they get a sense that it may be discovered. I have also seen a predator groom 5 targets on one team, and the approach was different for each child.
I want society to understand that anyone can be groomed, and it is not always the insecure child with low self-esteem or broken/dysfunctional home life. Predators are known to focus on the most popular and talented child because it can be challenging. Research has also determined that the age range the predator targets, is usually the age at which that predator was abused (Not all survivors become predators).
I am trying to get a research team to start looking at male suicides and see if there is a correlation to sexual exploitation. Since males are most reluctant to report or seek professional help, they tend to try and bury the event(s) which is only successful for a while and then starts to resurface in the forms of anger, substance abuse, acting out, abusing others, and even suicide.
Is there anything else you’d like to share with our readers?
Sexual abuse and Human Trafficking are real and are happening in our backyard. Our society continues to ignore and dismiss such allegations, especially when it comes to males. It is easier to sexually exploit males because it can be hidden as initiation, hazing, or rite of passage.
Simone Biles, Aly Raisman, and other female gymnasts have helped the #metoo movement and other female survivors to begin the acknowledgment and recognition needed to get help. But just because Dr. Larry Nassar is in prison, this does not negate the long road of recovery for each of these women.
Survivors’ lives are a constant strive for healing. Dr. Richard Strauss’ (The Ohio State University), Dr. Robert Anderson’s (University of Michigan), and Jerry Sandusky’s (Penn State) victims are struggling to get recognition and retribution because of being males.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://anathletessilence.com/
- Instagram: @johnmichaellander; https://www.instagram.com/johnmichaellander/?hl=en
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnmichaellander1214
- Twitter: @jm27land
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-oLvS3fcGg-VTffXP89q-Q
- TikTok: @lucas27land
