Today we’d like to introduce you to Michelle Lemke.
Hi Michelle, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
This is the story of how I sold everything I had to move overseas and find my happiness in the age of 25 years.
I was born and raised in Germany. In the cold northern part of Germany, and I don’t mean just the weather! After I had been through therapy because of an adjustment disorder with reactive depressive episodes my life finally felt to get better, but it did not. I focused on work after my long-term boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue. I was a teacher for toddlers but after my favorite co-worker got pregnant and had to leave immediately, I struggled to keep up my good work with co-workers that were barely half as good.
That year I also decided to travel for the first time on my own. No Boyfriend, no friends, just me. That was the worst and best vacation in my life. At this point, my English was so bad I couldn’t even order in a restaurant or ask for directions.
So, after all, that happened, I made a plan. I wanted to travel the world and find my happiness; I didn’t want to wait for someone to join my life to create happiness for me. I knew an English class will not do it; I know myself well enough that I wouldn’t practice frequently. So, I started to research old dreams and applied for the one-year program Aupair in America. (It’s an international live-in Nanny program)
The process was tough, they needed notes from my therapist and everything. They told me how I set up my profile that it was unlikely that many Host-families would be interested. But I stuck with it, I was looking for my happiness and I knew which kind of work would make me happy. Surprise! When my profile posted online it was completely full within the first hour. Requests continued coming in over other mediums.
My perfect Host-family came from Cleveland, Ohio. I couldn’t have made a better choice.
After 3 Videocalls we matched and I started to sell and give away everything I owned away. I quit my job, I sold my new car, I sold my furniture, and moved out. I was ready for a new life; People were trying to convince me to not sell my car or just ask for sabbatical year in my job. But somehow, I knew I wanted to be open for whatever life has to offer for me.
And I was so right, moving away from family and friends gave me the possibility to find myself outside of what people knew of me and the expectations they had for me. I could redefine myself and learn and grow without my “safety-net”. I found happiness within and with myself. After 8 months I decided to extend my contract for another 6 months. I moved to California for that time and then took a special COVID extension to stay even longer. After a year in California, full of surfing, diving, and traveling, I moved back to Cleveland. Back to my perfect Hostfamily. I have been in the US now for over 2 years and love everything about it. I am excited for what life has next for me and how I can help others to find their happiness.
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle-free, but so far would you say the journey has been a fairly smooth road?
My biggest challenge came when I needed to go the doctor for something that seemed like a little uncomfortable thing just to find out I had a brain tumor. After 11 months in the US, I had to go to the doctor. I had to convince them to do a blood test to find out what was going on since they just wanted to give me medication.
I got a message on my phone while sitting in my room alone late at night, that my results are ready, I opened them and saw a “!” beside one blood result. I had never heard of this specific test result, so I start googling it. I read the words and my heart starts racing… ‘Tumor in the pituitary gland’ I search further, ‘tumor in brain’ ‘results over 200 most likely a size over 10mm and cancerous’. I close my laptop; my test result is 276.8. I try to breathe and think, I have no idea what that means, will the doctor talk to me? Do I have to call them? In Germany, it’s a whole other system and as a patient you would even see your results without a doctor. It’s 9 pm, my host family is sleeping, and it’s the middle of the night in Germany. I still try to call family and friends but no one picks up. I have two friends here in the US by that time, but they are also non-citizens and couldn’t help. The guy I’m dating just cheated on me two days earlier so I just have to deal with it on my own.
The next few days are a nightmare, I don’t get a doctor on the phone and the nurses are annoyed from explaining everything slowly to me because I couldn’t keep up. I could finally calm down after seeing the specialist. It’s most likely not cancer but I have a tumor in my brain and we have to figure out how big and if I need surgery. We also need to do more blood tests. The MRI shows that my tumor is small. I got so lucky that they found it so early and I don’t need surgery but I do need medication long-term, maybe lifelong.
I call my insurance and it’s a jumble of not understanding and not wanting to understand. The insurance company refuses to pay but I need the medication and it’s expensive. Then the other blood results started coming in and they were not good, the doctor ordered more tests. I asked “What could it be?” and she answered, “Maybe another tumor.”
A couple days later I move to California and get a new doctor – he can’t believe my results and that I have still have my vision. Crazy times. I get the insurance to pay for my medication so I don’t need to go back to Germany. The other results are coming in and I don’t have a second tumor.
Dealing with this made me stronger, and even more than before I know I have to make sure I’m happy. So, it becomes my passion. I start my journey of making myself happy and helping others to find the courage to chase and find their happiness. Whatever it is.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I still work mainly as an Aupair (Nanny) and this work is important to me. I love to work with young kids because they are so pure and can enjoy life in a totally different way. I like to be reminded to be grateful and happy about the little things in life, like when you get to wear your favorite pj’s or you finally got something you tried so often to accomplish. For kids, it’s as small as picking up food with their fork but for us as adults it could be something like learning a new sport and hitting the ball for the first time in tennis.
Adults need to relearn how to celebrate themselves and in order to learn something new you have to fail. And there is nothing wrong with that. We have to normalize failing and changing your mind, whether about career or lifestyle. As kids, we never gave up learning to walk just because we fell too many times.
With my social media accounts, I want to set a good example of trying and failing, how to leave your comfort zone in order to do great things, and find sustainable happiness that’s not tied to success, accomplishments, and material stuff.
What matters most to you?
What really matters is that YOU find your happiness. Regardless of what other people or society thinks. It’s so easy to go the way of least resistance and just do what everybody does. Get a good job, get married, buy a house, have kids, and take one vacation a year. And there are people out there that’s exactly what they want and that will make them happy. But that doesn’t have to be for you. But how do you to find out if that’s your path when you never tried anything else? Have you tried different hobbies? Have you tried different jobs? Have you tried the food you never had before? How do you want to know that’s not the best thing you ever will eat in your Life? You get the point. You have to leave the people and the environment you grew up with in order to find out who you are without the things that shaped you until then. It’s uncomfortable and it is work but at the end of Life isn’t it more painful to say I had an average life, never changed my job and I can’t complain, than to say I lived my Life to the fullest, I tried, I failed and I found true happiness within me and the things I do?
I would never found out that I love the ocean so much that I want to live at the ocean at some point without making the move to live overseas.
The other thing that matters is that you understand that life happens for you. It does not happen to you. You have to get into the mindset that certain things happen for you to learn something or meet somebody. If you are thinking life happens to you then you give up the control of your life. Here is an example: One morning you spill coffee all over your laptop and your laptop stops working. Two possibilities are here.
One, you’re frustrated and angry about why this happens to you and when you’re going to the shop to get it fixed you are still so angry that you don’t see the ad on the wall for the dream job you always wanted. They fix your laptop; you go home and finish your work that you just do because you get paid well.
OR option two: You’re frustrated but you take a deep breath. It’s nothing you can’t fix and at least you get to go outside now to go the shop to fix it. You walk into the shop and have a pleasant conversation with the staff. While you wait you look around and see the ad for your dream job. You think “How convenient is that exactly today I spilled my coffee on my laptop and the deadline to apply ends today.” Your laptop gets fixed and you go home and send the application right away. Life happened for you!
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