Inspiring Conversations with Abbie Ames of Abbie Ames Counseling

Today we’d like to introduce you to Abbie Ames.

Hi Abbie, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today. 
I’m not a fan of the phrase: “everything happens for a reason” but I truly believe a family tragedy led me to study psychology and become a therapist. I will never forget the phone call that changed my family forever. It was a gorgeous summer day, and I had just gotten home from spending some time with friends when my dad called me. As soon as I answered the call, I could tell it was bad news because my otherwise cheerful and upbeat dad could barely speak. Through his tears, he finally got the words out, and my knees buckled. My 31-year-old brother was dead. I was 24 years old. Losing my brother in this sudden, tragic, and unexpected way turned my family’s life upside down. I was getting ready to apply to graduate schools to pursue a degree in Occupational Therapy. But my heart wasn’t in it anymore. Losing my brother made me realize that I wanted to help people with the hurt and pain they carry from their lived life experiences, such as grief, loss, trauma, and stress. My passion for helping others became undeniable. Little did I know that Mark’s death would not only devastate our entire family but it would also make me question my career goals and ultimately lead me to pivot to my current profession. I decided to pursue a master’s in clinical mental health counseling, and I haven’t looked back. 

Throughout my career as a counselor, I’ve found great fulfillment in helping others make connections in their lives, understand things in new ways, heal, and ultimately feel better about themselves and their relationships. I love working with people from diverse backgrounds and listening to so many unique stories. 

We will always miss my brother’s generous spirit, his ability to connect with everyone he met, his sparkling smile, unwavering warmth, and his fantastic sense of humor. My family continues to carry the grief of losing my brother in our hearts, but as I tell my patients, grief doesn’t get smaller, but as life and love grow bigger, the power of that grief becomes more manageable over time. 

Fast forward a few years. I met my now husband, got married, and decided to start a family. My husband and I had a difficult time conceiving, but we had our first son in January 2020. 

I felt blindsided by the challenges of modern motherhood. People always say being a mom is the hardest, most rewarding job you will ever have. Why is it no one tells you just how hard it is? Probably because no one would actually believe it. The trials, tribulations, and challenges of parenthood aren’t talked about as much as they need to be! I also find that moms are longing for more understanding and support and instead feel they are constantly met with judgment and unsolicited advice and criticism. In my case, I was still adjusting to having a newborn when the pandemic started. My husband and I now had to navigate life with a newborn around a lockdown in “these unprecedented times,” a phrase we all grew tired of, but that was undeniably true. Beyond that was the trauma and pain my body went through during labor and delivery… And then there were the breastfeeding challenges and the time and isolation that many who breastfeed know all too well. Did I mention we were still in the middle of the pandemic when my younger son was born in October of 2021? Or that my mom died while I was 2 months pregnant with my second son? Grieving while growing a human and taking care of a toddler is a story in and of itself. Grief + joy + pandemic = Tears and more tears. Also, new challenges, unimaginable adjustments, and to use a phrase young parents cling to, lots of “big feelings” I’m now busy with two toddlers but mostly overjoyed at having two young sons. I realized that I have unique personal and professional experience and knowledge that I draw from every day to help other mamas. I’ve made this the focus of my professional niche: helping moms manage their emotions as they balance and juggle ALL. THE. THINGS. Do I also treat people without children? What about men and dads? Yes, yes and yes. While my target audience is women and moms, I welcome anyone and everyone to my practice. I’m also experienced in treating people in the LGBTQ+ community as well as people of all age groups, ethnic backgrounds, and religions. 

I know the pain and loneliness of infertility challenges. I know the hurt and pain that can linger in the shadows from birth trauma. I know how isolating and time-consuming, yet beautiful and powerful breastfeeding is. I know the challenges of modern motherhood and all the mixed messages that mothers face. How can we possibly do it all and do it all WELL? I know the immense pressure mamas feel to be everything for everyone while not losing themselves in that process. I live this every day. I have a unique personal story that makes me understand and care for my clients deeply and genuinely want to help them not only heal but empower them to transform their lives. 

Combine my personal situation with my professional experience working with patients dealing with trauma. I consider myself a trauma-focused therapist. I utilize EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy to help people heal. It can be an incredibly powerful and effective approach. It’s hard to put into words how rewarding it is to see EMDR therapy in action. But in a strong therapeutic relationship with the right therapist who is compassionate and attuned to their client, EMDR is a powerhouse element of my well-stocked toolbox. 

I LOVE helping moms work through past trauma from childhood, birth trauma, pregnancy/infant loss, trouble with breastfeeding, work-life balance, burnout, and being overwhelmed. Did I leave anything out? Anything that’s just keeping them stuck or getting in their own way. Whatever it is, believe me, I’ve seen it, heard and helped a mom manage it. Sometimes moms don’t even realize the things that have stuck with them. Parenting has a way of stirring things up from our own childhood. When we can heal, we can be better parents to our kids. Our kids may drive us nuts sometimes, but they deserve to have us feeling and acting our best as much as possible. Parents deserve to heal, have clarity, and feel confident about who they are and how they interact with other people. I often imagine the ripple effect that could take place if more parents dig deeper and do their own inner work. I strive to help parents discover the amazing effects they could have on their own children. I envision the social and emotional impact this important work could have on future generations. 

The moms I work with want to break the cycle. They’re WORKING hard to do so. I truly believe the world will be a better place when more people can heal from their pain points. After all, hurt people hurt people. And HEALED people can heal people. 

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
As with most career paths, there have been definitely challenges along the way! I started off working in private group practice. My experience there was amazing, and I loved the colleagues and clinicians I worked with. However, I realized I was ready for a new adventure and really wanted to create my own path. I started my private practice, Abbie Ames Counseling, in 2019 while pregnant with my first child. It wasn’t easy working full-time while pregnant, but starting a business on the side right before giving birth was completely overwhelming. But I don’t always do things the easy way! I knew my hard work would be worth it. The pandemic hit just as my maternity leave ended. The challenges of caring for an infant and working full-time but now doing it all from home were interesting. I had to figure it all out as I opened my own practice, now completely virtual. Oh, hello, video sessions! I had no idea that I would begin every session with the phrase, “I think you’re on mute.” 

I quickly realized that insurance dictates a lot about a person’s care. Insurance companies require a diagnosis and dictate how long someone can be seen. This decision should be up to the patient and their therapist, based on the patient’s unique needs. Insurance also dictates what is medically necessary, how long, and how frequently a patient can receive treatment. I realized that this model wasn’t sustainable for me or my clients. I spent hours on the phone and lots of time and energy tracking down payments. I finally realized that the mamas I love working with deserved more. If I was going to preach self-care and discuss in length what that meant for other people, I had to get honest with myself. And that meant no longer accepting insurance. I am now a private pay provider that can focus on the whole person and can truly customize my treatment approach to fit my clients’ needs. For instance, I now offer three types of sessions: 50 minutes, 90 minutes, or 2 hours. Some clients prefer to have a longer session and really work more intensively on their healing process. This flexibility allows each client to have agency and gives them the ability to decide what is best for them and their unique needs/wants. 

Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next, you can tell us a bit more about your business.
Abbie Ames Counseling is a private practice that offers both in-person and online counseling sessions. 

As an EMDR therapist, I’m passionate about working with women and moms. I specialize in maternal mental health, challenges related to pregnancy, adjusting to postpartum life, and beyond. I’m also passionate about helping people heal from birth trauma, pregnancy/infant loss, and complex trauma/PTSD. I love working with perfectionists, people pleasers and anyone wanting to re-parent themselves, heal past childhood or attachment trauma, and ultimately build better relationships with themselves and others in their lives. 

What sets me apart from other therapists? My unique personal journey, the growth, and healing that resulted from that journey, combined with my professional knowledge, expertise, and training in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, extensive trauma training, and EMDR training. I thrive on witnessing the transformations: seeing women realize and believe what they are capable of. Guiding them to a place of loving and accepting their authentic selves and believing they are worthy of love and acceptance. Watching that transformation is truly indescribable. Moms need a lot more support and a lot less shaming and judgment, am I right? I can offer my expertise and training, coupled with my personal experience and genuine and supportive nature to help people, especially moms heal from pain points and potential beliefs that might be keeping them stuck. I partner with my clients to go beyond just coping skills and self-care recommendations. Through this partnership, my clients allow me to not just accompany them on their journey but also to dig deeper. My greatest professional rewards happen when I see clients’ transformation and healing when their body and the brain begins to work together to heal. This leads to the relief that so many long for. Clients often tell me that therapy with me feels different because they can tell I really care about them and that our therapist/client relationship feels organic and genuine. 

I offer a standard 50-minute session as well as more intense options: a 90-minute or 2-hour-long session or some combination of all three. 

Can you talk to us a bit about happiness and what makes you happy?
For me, happiness lives in the small moments. Watching my children play and giggle together, being present when they share their excitement with me as they show me something new they learned, and of course, snuggling with them. The snuggles are just THE BEST. Quality time with people I love, both friends and family. What mom doesn’t enjoy some quiet “me time?” Time permitting, I love reading, watching a good movie, or binging my favorite shows. I cherish the time I can spend outside as well. 

Pricing:

• Standard 50-minute session- $200
• 90 Min session- $375
• 2 hour session- $500

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.abbieamescounseling.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbieamescounseling
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Abbie-Ames-Counseling-LLC/100086210984962/?mibextid=LQQJ4d

Image Credits
Natalie Curtis