Check Out Valerie Schrader’s Story

Today we’d like to introduce you to Valerie Schrader. 

Hi Valerie, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
I grew up in a world of opposites. My parents divorced when I was 2 1/2 and my life went between extremes. Beginning at the age of five I went with my spiritually driven, pacifist, loving dad and grandma to spiritual retreats where they trained and taught where Taoist traditions and the healing arts within the mind, body, and spirit were practiced. With my dad and family, I had unconditional love, support, and encouragement to allow my inner magic to shine and my talents to flourish. On the flip side, my narcissistic mother and alcoholic stepfather created homes of chaos, violence, fear, and trauma. I remember my mother getting angry at me for no rational reason, kicking me out of the house starting at age six. I was terrified to speak up, feeling completely unseen, unloved, and reminded, directly and indirectly, that I wasn’t loved or worthy or enough. I experienced housing insecurity, financial insecurity, and childhood sexual abuse by a babysitter’s son. The effects were far greater than the love my dad provided. My childhood was the story of the two wolves. No matter how much my dad tried to love me and support me, the wounds from my mother were gluttonous. 

At 18 I became a stripper and nude model and also dealt with the toxic behaviors sex workers often endure. At 19 I’d been diagnosed with early-stage cervical cancer which added to my lack of feeling connected to my body and I dealt with medical trauma. At 20 I had my beautiful daughter Angel but the relationship with her father was the first major of many abusive ones with narcissistic partners. Angel and I left when she was only 1 1/2 and moved in with my dad while I went to college to help me care for her and support me during the five-year custody battle, we went through with both Angel’s dad and my mom who’d paid for the whole thing as her final form of punishment for me existing and speaking out about her abuse. 

In the early years of my daughter’s life, I wasn’t the best mom I could’ve been. I’d snap at her for no reason, unable to manage my responses. I felt like a failure as a parent and lived in deep fear of being just like my mother. I felt undeserving of her and that caused me to act in ways that weren’t good for either of us. I did many things right with her though regardless of my unhealed traumas. I still felt so much guilt for the ways I wasn’t better and that added to my depression and waves of things going well and then not. 

I spent much of my 20s and into my early 30s bouncing through toxic relationships with narcissistic, abusive men just like my mother. I was desperate to be loved but suffered through issues of people-pleasing, lack of setting boundaries, low self-esteem, and self-worth, tons of shame from childhood events and the multiple sexual assaults, complete detachment from my sexual self, severe bouts of depression and anxiety and fear of being authentically me. I’d tried therapy a few times but had bad experiences, so I gave up. 

I found my desire to help other women that had been through the types of abuse and trauma I had overwhelming. In college, I began studying psychology and ended up focusing on Women’s Health and Sexuality. I also opened a pole studio in 2007 to help women get in touch with their bodies and use sensual movement in an empowered way. My intentions were good, but all the effects of unhealed trauma created massive problems in my business. I struggled financially with undercharging, I overworked and didn’t prioritize my health or time with myself and Angel, and I paid attention to toxic people and shied away from the good ones for fear of not being loved. I set no boundaries and caused myself to suffer financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically, and it all came to a head when Angel hit high school. I was in another toxic relationship, my business was crumbling, and I’d surrounded myself with toxic people, struggling financially and fearing asking for help. I spiraled into the worst depression of my life and ended up in the hospital on a forced suicide watch. What that did to my daughter took years to forgive myself for, but it ended up being the best thing that could’ve ever happened. 

I finally found a trauma-trained therapist who helped me unpack the decades of trauma, conditioning, and pain I’d stuffed down and tried to silently manage. During that time, I also dove into coaching work with Layla Martin, Mama Gena, Julia Wells, Lisa Nichols, Nima Mohammed, Tony Robbins, and several others. I worked through the pain and finally connected with my authentic self, my body, and my sensual self for the first time. The more work I did the more my internal and external world changed. I felt my wholeness, lovability, and worthiness. I learned to set boundaries, hold them, be self-aware and come from a place of emotional intelligence and be intentional. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and let in people that genuinely loved and believed in me and every day I became more and more of the mother I had always tried to be for Angel. Externally, I developed a healthier relationship with money, found more soul-aligned friendships and sisterhood connections, got back into the spiritual practices I’d learned as a child, and expanded on them. I let myself dress the way I wanted, style my hair as I desired, speak the way I truly wanted to speak and began doing the activities and things I’d craved doing. Romantically, I finally went after a partnership that felt fulfilling and honoring of who I am and what I want. 

I knew from all my work that it was time to pick up where I’d left off in college and help other women just like me. So, I trained and built a coaching practice centered on utilizing pleasure and somatic experiences to release long-held trauma and help others come into their authentic selves. I’ve found that my work and the work of my clients have been easier, felt safer, and more freeing with the infusion of sacred sexuality work. It’s a combined practice of Somatic Experiencing, trauma-informed care, decolonized work with pleasure-based sacred sexuality practices for a mind, body, spirit action-based work. 

The more I’ve continued to educate myself and continue my growth journey the more clients’ lives I’ve been able to transform. Each one I’ve seen makes incredible strides in finding their voices, their power, and their sense of self, happiness, and fulfillment. 

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
I’ve had tons of struggles throughout my life. I grew up with an abusive, narcissistic mother, experienced sexual assaults and domestic violence, housing insecurity, resource insecurity, severe depression, and CPTSD. 

Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I’m a generational liberation coach and offer trauma-centered, somatic coaching to people to help them release childhood wounds and generational trauma that’s affecting their relationships, businesses, lives, and self-worth. I decided years ago I wanted to help people that have experienced so much of the pain I did because I know it’s possible to have a life that feels radiant, and everyone deserves that. So many of us walk around in pain and suffering from things we experienced as kids, and we don’t have to, so I’ve dedicated my life to helping them release all that faster and with more support than I had. I’ve had many proud moments as a coach but one moment that sticks out is a client that came to be ready to get a divorce, feeling miserable in her body, and career and unsure of what she wanted. After a year of working together, her marriage was not only saved but they have a deeply fulfilling marriage, she got a new job that pays her almost 40% more and offers her the schedule she wants so there’s more time at home, she feels safe in her body and genuinely loves herself now. That’s lifesaving and to have been a part of someone creating that is a gift. 

Can you talk to us a bit about happiness and what makes you happy?
Seeing and feeling joy in this world from others. That sounds simple but when people feel joy and break generational cycles to live a life that is authentic the world shifts. So, it truly brings me joy to see joy. 

Pricing:

• $333 single session & Certain webinars
• $444 Pleasure Healing Webinar (my methodology)
• $2222 Pleasure Queens (12-week signature group course)
• $4000 The Empress Retreat Oct. 2nd-8th
• $4,444 1:1 coaching package with 14 sessions

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.sensual-power.com/programs
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thevalerieschrader/