Conversations with Brandon Barekman

Today we’d like to introduce you to Brandon Barekman.

Hi Brandon, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
Ill try to give as much detail without droning on.. Well to start, i was born Brandon J. Tawney (originally) in the Fountain Valley, Orange County California. I say originally because my mom gave me a different last name of a man who in; her words not mine, “Tried to be your father and failed” To this day i dont know if he WAS my biological father or not. My mom was always “up front” with the fact she wasnt entirely sure who my dad was, She was briefly married, then divorced, bounced around then came out as a lesbian not long after having me. But I digress: I was only born in CA due to circumstance because my mom is originally from Vincennes Indiana but was stationed in San Diego during her time in the Navy. I bounced around alot as a kid, Cali in 1st grade, Atlanta in 2nd grade then back to Cali then to Indiana, then we finally settled in Cincinnati OH around 2004 when i was still in 6th grade. And even then we ended up moving from Winton Place up to Mt Healthy my freshman year in 07 because of my moms relationship change. Im an younger millenial but an old school latch key kid. I spent alot of my formative years alone because i was an only child and combined with the frequent moves i got to a certain point in 4th grade where I stopped trying to make friends because i thought “Whats the point when we’ll just end up moving in another 6-18mos” I take all of that in stride though because it forced me to adapt. Musically my mom was a big hair band 80s rock/ country girl but i found hip hop at an early age. I can remember being in like 1st grade in CA and my mom getting me an eminem CD for my straight A report card that i got. She only bought me the Without Me single which shed heard on the radio at the time and assumed it was better than a full album. Little did she know that mug was UNRATED lol. So that started my journey to becoming an emcee. Through that Eminem single and the few older homies or family i did have i was introduced to 2 Pac NWA the whole ruthless/death row era. As i got into middle school i was introduced to a little band called ICP and I will go far as to say that hearing Halloween On Military for the first time at 12-13 effectively changed the trajectory of my life. I fell deep into the rabbit hole that is Juggalo culture. I took a step back from the scene right around the time covid because of multiple reasons and i still feel guilty because in that time our community has become so divided and misconstrued, not unlike our current geopolitical landscape. Growing up in Cincinnati i went to winton hills academy and the first summer there from 6th grade going into 7th I had my innocence effectively stolen from me. I was walking home from the neighborhood pool with a friend as we were approached by a kid that i was briefly acquainted with from my class as well as a group of about 6-7 of his friends. We all start walking and talking not thinking to much of anything until we go through an alley shortcut, and out of the corner of my eye i see my friend get shoved to the ground. As i turn to look i take a first to the jaw. Im quickly tripped up and surrounded by half the group as they punch me and tell me to take off my watch. I fumble a bit but give it to them, then try to make a break for it seeing as my friend had already abandoned me. I got corned again in another parking lot behind a church, one kid put me in a head lock and my instincts told me to play dead so as i fauxed being “put to sleep” the kid lets me down and the group runs off, but not before leaving me with a couple stomps to my ribs. That was the first time i was jumped, but it wouldnt be the last. I hate to say that Cincinnati is the first place i ever experienced true racial cruelty. Hind sight of course is 20/20 and looking back now i cant understand why the racial tensions in the city were the way they were. But i was an 11yo kid from Cali that didnt know any better. Even in ATL when i was one of the fewer white kids, It was never anything more than a “yo white boy” here and there. From Lakewood to ATL i was always in a multi-diverse class. And outside of my mom being a lesbian, I have always been raised with a strong “progressive” view of the world. The only 2 guys that i even consider father figures are an amazing couple that a met through a classmate of mine Keshia. They ended up letting my mom and I live with them for a short time before moving back east. And if it werent for Mark & Stephen Sauers-Chambers I wouldnt be where I am today. Which is a somewhat stable presenting adult lol.I am now 33, married to my high school sweetheart Sarah and have 3 daughters. Aubree, Alexandria, and Alice. My wife and i had a rocky road to get to where we are, my middle daughter is with a different woman whom i fought tooth and nail to get full custody from and have become much healthier co parents. Ive been taking my music seriously for about a decade or more now, ever since my first live performance in 2013 in Milford OH, a little place [unfortunately closed now] called Bocca Billiards. I was about 20-21 and it was a crowd of around 100 or so people. I was insanely nervous and begged my homie at the time to help me hype but his anxiety got the best of him so in the moment i had to shake it off and the minute i hit that stage everything else melted away. Ive been chasing that high ever since. Ive opened for some major artists over the years, Whitney Peyton back in 2015, a couple shows with Twiztid, Ces Cru, G-Mo Skee and A.X.E. before they were signed. And im proud to say i was one of the last people to perform at The Mad Frog down in Cinci opening for Trizz and Rittz. I took a hiatus around 2023 after losing a good friend to suicide shortly after i lost my job of 3yrs and then spiraled bad for awhile. Was lucky enough to get a yesar of therapy before losing my insurance again which really helped save my life. I recently started doing shows again last fall after coming home from the 25th annual Gathering of the Juggalos. I had afire lit up under me again for the music and the message and ive been back on a mission to spread the word of the ghetto nerd ever since!

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
I explained alot in the first half, I dont want to be redundant so ill leave bullet points on this one

Moved around around from age 5 until 14

Was jumped early as 6th grade mostly for being a white kid with a watch

Suffered alot of bullying and childhood home abuse

Mom was an alcoholic narcissist

Became a dad before i was ready forcing me to grow up faster than most

Suffered mental health struggles through childhood lose. Too losing a best friend to hanging and 2 years later my baby cousin with his own service pistol

Never let my abuse or challenges turn me into a cold hateful human

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I am an emcee, and i say EMCEE not rapper because i feel that RAP and Hip Hop are not the same. Retards Attempting Poetry is the acronym i came up with when i was in high school. My stage name is Killa Cali Hustle, but i have 2 surnames The Ghetto Nerd and The Rebel Clown. In the briefest description, i explain to people is that a GhettoNerd is essentially a 90s baby that grew up on pokemon and 2 pac. Care free fun loving soul. And The Rebel Clown is the alternative side of that, its the version of me that finally snapped. Got tired of the bullies and started fighting back, It started as early as 1st grade with the poetry, I was always a gifted writer, but ironically i hated English and always had issues with those teachers. I did my first performance in 2013 and pride my self on lyricism, substance, stage presence and political message because at the end of the day hip hop has always been political, Which allows me to circle back to my point of RAP, it represents the corporate capitalist sellouts that push the mainstream propaganda for the prison industrial complex

Do you have any advice for those just starting out?
Get thick skin! Being able to take constructive criticism (or even flat out hatred) in stride is an invaluable tool. I burned alot of bridged in my 20s because i had way too much ego, Ego and greed will kill your growth fast.

Pricing:

• Im not sure how to answer this but i do make my own merch and sell it when i can pricing varies
• $5 Sticker Slap Pack
• $15-25 Custom Tshirt
• $3-5 custom vinyl decals
• $5 Sampler Cds

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.hyperfollow.com/killacalihustle
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/killacalihustle/
• Facebook: https://facebook.com/KillaCaliHustle/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/killacalihustle
• Youtube: https://youtube.com/@KillaCaliHustle
• Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/killa-cali-hustle