Community Highlights: Meet Dayatra Towles of Wife, Mom of Three & Me

Today we’d like to introduce you to Dayatra Towles. 

Dayatra, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
OMG! It seems like a lifetime ago when I think about how I started and where I am today. I had just lost my grandmother, who was and still is one of the most important and influential people in my life, and I was at a point where I felt lost. It was as if everyone in the world around me was moving forward and I was standing still, just going through the motions. 

As a wife and mother of three, my youngest at the time was only eight. I was desperately searching for a way to heal and be present for my family because they deserved to have all of me. So, I did all I knew how to do. I prayed! I asked God to help me find a way to heal and become whole again. He did! 

Shortly after giving things over to God, I realized that I had continuously watched my teen daughter and her friends struggle with the usual teen girl issues, and I wanted to do something about it. I got the idea to start a nonprofit organization for girls ages 12 to 18. 

However, after getting the idea, I wrestled with it for months, second-guessing everything I had envisioned. It wasn’t until a sister-friend that I was working with at the time sat me down, gave me some tough love, and held me accountable for every deadline I had to meet to get the nonprofit up and running. The rest, as they say, is history. In 2011, Modern Day Cinderella Inc. was born, becoming a program that would help teen girls navigate life lessons and build their confidence and self-esteem while teaching them how to build healthy relationships. 

Shortly after starting Modern Day Cinderella Inc., my youngest got sick with appendicitis, and I found myself out of a job and a stay-at-home mom. This massive change hit our family hard financially initially, but we managed to navigate through it. Feeling discouraged and overwhelmed, my family and MDC Inc. became my focus. I poured all that I had into both and what started as a temporary setback turned into approximately six years of me not working outside the home. Don’t get me wrong, I found so much joy and comfort in being there for everything my children experienced and needed in and out of school, helping with homework, our outings, and family meals together, but I began to want something more for myself. I decided that I was ready to go back to school and enrolled to pursue a degree in social work. 

As I worked hard to complete the coursework, I built the curriculum for Modern Day Cinderella Inc. from scratch and began hosting mother-daughter events, fundraisers, and workshops. My ultimate goal was to use everything I learned to expand Modern Day Cinderella Inc’s presence and programs. Despite my success building MDC Inc., somewhere along the way, I realized that there was a longing that I had inside of me that was so much more than that. I felt like I was not only called to empower young women but also to advocate for those that could not advocate for themselves for whatever reason. 

Fast forward to 2019. My oldest children were now grown, my husband and I became “Glamma and Pop-Pop” to the most precious little girl in the world, and my youngest was now a senior in high school and was preparing to leave for Italy to spend his senior year studying abroad. Plus, I was re-entering the workforce. Life was good! Or so I thought until he boarded that plane. I began to feel as if I no longer had a purpose. Here I was, a wife and mom for more than 20 years, and I was now childless and afraid that so much time in my marriage had been as mom & dad that my husband and I may no longer even like each other. 

To pass the time, I started journaling, and Wife, Mom of Three & Me was born. 

However, it didn’t stop there. Sure, journaling was okay and gave me the idea to start a blog. But I wanted to do more, I yearned to connect with other wives, moms, and women, in general, to share my journey with the hopes of inspiring and encouraging them to embrace the joy and chaos that life brings; good, bad, or indifferent. This yearning gave me the courage to do something I wanted for years, to get certified as a life coach. So, I registered for a coaching program. When the pandemic hit, I finally completed the program deciding that I wanted to use what I had learned to help women discover their inner truths and acquire the skills needed to sustain healthy relationships of all kinds. After choosing to pursue self-discovery & relationship coaching, I began to expand the current curriculum with elements and activities of my own that I can use with coaching sessions, workshops, and retreats. 

While locked down during the pandemic, I was constantly envisioning what I wanted Wife, Mom of Three & Me to be and represent, and when I got the vision to incorporate self-care, I decided to plan a self-care retreat. In September 2021, despite being a couple of months out of surgery and not yet weight-bearing, that retreat became a reality. I hosted seventeen women on a 2-day self-care retreat in Gatlinburg, TN. The feedback and encouragement were great, and I knew there would be more retreats to come. Also, my love for candles, books, and wine as a way to relax sparked my interest in candle-making. I researched and practiced making candles (fragrance load, wax types, wick size, container type, etc.) for more than a year before launching my collection of handmade coconut soy self-care candles & wax melts this spring. 

Although I began Wife, Mom of Three & Me, I have not given up on Modern Day Cinderella Inc. as I plan to continue all programs offered by the nonprofit. I also plan to add mother-daughter relationship coaching (individual & group) as an option. I believe that if we can educate and demonstrate to our young women and girls the lessons they need during their pre-teen & teen years, they will be less likely to encounter difficulties in these areas as they get older. 

There is more to be done for everyone touched by the services and programs of Modern-Day Cinderella Inc. and Wife, Mom of Three & Me. So, why not be the one to do it? I refuse to limit who I am and the good I can do because others think I should. My story is far from over. 

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
To be honest. I don’t believe there is such a thing as a smooth road. I think struggles and obstacles are put in our way along our journeys to test us and make us stronger. So as with any journey, I never expected mine to be any different. Lord knows I have experienced my fair share. From 2010-2012 I lost my grandmother, my son became septic with appendicitis, and I lost my job. Despite being emotionally spent and financially strained, we made it through. 

But I would have to say the brunt of my struggles has come within the past three years. In 2019, my husband’s grandmother passed away suddenly, leaving the family broken. Just three days later, we celebrated the birth of our beautiful granddaughter. That excitement was quickly replaced by sadness and worry when we learned that she had a heart condition that would cause her to be removed from her parents and rushed to a nearby children’s hospital for approximately a week or so before finally being released to go home. 

In September of the same year, we sent our youngest son to Italy to study abroad. We were excited for him and his experience until Covid-19 hit hard approximately 4-5 months later, and he was in danger of being stranded in Italy with no passage back to the US. I spent countless hours making phone calls to our elected officials to see what options we had if things became too dangerous for him to be in Italy. Not to mention the countless phone calls to airlines booking and rebooking flights from Italy to Dayton, OH. For a week, I booked flight after flight for them to cancel, and the process began again. As a mom, to have to look your child in the face and see the fear in their eyes and tell them that everything will be okay when in your heart you have no idea what you’re up against and if they will even be safe, is torture. In April 2020, I was able to book him a flight that would bring him home without any issues. You would not believe the weight lifted off my shoulders and the sheer joy in my heart when he showed up outside the car. 

Now the most recent struggle I’ve encountered along this bumpy, windy road would be June 2021. While spending the day with my granddaughter, I went to move her away from the stairs after she took off, running towards them from the kitchen. I was able to move her out of the way, but what I didn’t notice was that my stepping backward would lead to me falling down an entire flight of stairs. At the time, it was just her and I. However, by the grace of God, my daughter was on speaker phone in my back pocket and called my husband, and he called the ambulance. 

When he arrived at our house, I was on the floor, holding my leg together to keep the bone that broke through my skin in place. Upon arriving at the hospital by ambulance, I was x-rayed and given the bad news. I had an open fracture and broken ankle that would require surgery to fix. I was scheduled for surgery the following morning. When it was all said and done, I ended up with seven screws and a metal plate in my leg. I was off work for over two months, unable to walk for more than four months, and as of today, I still suffer from extreme swelling and pain. Not to mention that I still can’t wear any variety of shoes (unless you count sneakers and crocs a variety, LOL). 

Despite the downsides of it all, I know how blessed and lucky I am to have walked away with just a broken leg & ankle. Things could have turned out so much worse, my granddaughter could have gotten hurt, or I could have broken my neck, or worse. 

As a result of everything that I’ve endured so far on my journey, I refuse to allow things I can’t control to rule my life. I have found peace and happiness in my family and choosing to live my life on my terms. 

Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your business?
Wife, Mom of Three & Me, was born from an idea I came up with for a blog in 2019 when my youngest son left to study abroad in Italy. I felt it would be a great way to express myself and work through my feelings of having an empty nest or what I like to call my “new normal.” As I began writing, I realized that Wife, Mom of Three & Me could be more than just a blog. It was ultimately a representation of me and my journey, but it could also be something I could use to help others navigate their journeys of self-discovery. Upon realizing this, things seemed to blossom like a flower, and I began taking my ideas and growing them into a reality. Wife, Mom of Three & Me, is all about SELF-DISCOVERY and finding HAPPINESS in all areas of your life. There are currently four areas within Wife, Mom of Three & Me. The first area you will find is the blog. The blog is simply a judgment-free zone where I go to share thoughts, feelings, and experiences past, present, good and bad with my readers. The second area is my self-care candle & wax melt collection. There are seven fragrances, each inspired by various elements, each given a “quirky” name that inspires and promotes some element of self-love, comfort, encouragement, or relaxation. When someone purchases a candle or wax melt, they also receive an extra gift. Every candle order is accompanied by a set of decorative matches and affirmation cards created by yours truly. While wax melt orders include just the affirmation cards. In the next area, you will find information on the coaching I offer. As a Self-Discovery & Relationship Coach, I offer one-on-one coaching as well as group coaching. Currently, the 4-Week Enlightened Relationship Challenge which consists of 2 weekly lessons, 4 weekly one-on-one coach calls, 2 bi-weekly group coaching sessions, and access to a private Facebook group has become quite popular. Presenting this challenge in a group setting is one of my favorite ways to offer it. I love watching the expressions on my client’s faces when they see firsthand that they are not alone, most if not all relationships deal with the same issues at some point in time. This realization also makes them more open and receptive to the process. Being more open and receptive allows them to leave the experience closer and more connected than when they arrived because it helps them find the courage to unpack the baggage they’ve been carrying from one relationship to another. Lastly is the retreat area. In this area, you’ll find couples and self-care retreats especially designed for six or more people. Each retreat includes meals, snacks, accommodations, lesson materials, and planned activities. My self-care retreat is a client favorite. As a coach, I find something magical in being able to take women that don’t know each other out of their comfort zone, combine them, and watch as the conversation and bonds begin to form. Not to mention the fun they have during the process and the information they walk away with on topics such as the areas of self-care, mindfulness, being intentional, and more. In a field or market that’s overly saturated, such as coaching, where everyone has some “special” thing, I believe the thing that sets me apart from others isn’t just one thing but a combination of things that allow me to be what I like to call “perfectly imperfect.” Meaning, I accept and embrace not only who I truly am and the challenges I’ve experienced in my life, but I also use my story to guide clients to the life and outcome they are searching. Let me elaborate. When starting anything, even coaching can be overwhelming. You want to fit in and be successful like those coaches you see who have hundreds of clients, so you often try duplicating their methods and risk losing yourself. I’ve found that being honest with myself and standing in the truth of my journey, good and bad, demonstrates to my clients that one’s continuous exploration and personal growth can have a significant positive impact on their life. Which I believe makes all the difference in any coaching relationship or niche. I’m most proud of the fact that I’m able to help others create the life that they want while staying true to who I am. Allowing me to be an example to my children & granddaughter that you can become successful in anything you do without compromising yourself and what you believe. I want readers to know that Wife, Mom of Three & Me is all about embracing life’s journey and the chaos thrown at you along the way. Although it may not always be pretty, but in the end, it’s worth it. My journey is far from over new things are on the horizon for Wife, Mom of Three & Me, so be sure to stay tuned for what’s coming next. You won’t want to miss it! 

Where we are in life is often partly because of others. Who/what else deserves credit for how your story turned out?
If I’m being perfectly honest, I would have to say that my success has been a group effort. Now, don’t get me wrong, I put in the blood, sweat, and tears to create something that not only I can be proud of but my children as well. However, I know that I am beyond blessed to have a circle of family and friends that support me like no other. For instance, my Uncle Ruben (Anne) who resides in Australia has been hosting and designing my websites pro bono since I started my nonprofit back in 2011. He has also been a wonderful motivator and donor. Then there’s my cousin Devin of D-Mel Designs who has been my go-to logo designer since the beginning as well. He has a knack for taking my vision no matter what it is and bringing it to life. But the ones that have been in the trenches as sounding boards, guinea pigs, laborers, prayer warriors, financial backers, my biggest cheerleaders, and always there to talk me off the ledge when I’m spiraling out of control are my husband Terry, children Karisma, Terry Jr., and Terrell. Also in this category are my mother Brenda, sister Brandy (Brian), Aunt Jackie, Aunt Beth, and my two sister-friends Tonya and Esther. So, I sing my praises to my circle and those outside my circle that also support me and my endeavors, they all help make it easier for me to do what I love! 

Pricing:

• 4-Week Enlightened Relationship Challenge: $498.00
• Coaching (Individual & Group): starting at $100/hr.
• 12-Week Self-Care Challenge: $1498.00
• Retreats (Self-Care & Couples): starting at $125 per person
• Self-Care Candles & Wax Melt Collection: starting at $5.00

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.wifemomofthreeme.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wifemomofthreeme
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wifemomofthreeme
• Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/wifemomof3me
• Other: https://www.mdcinderella.org

Image Credits
James Scales