Today we’d like to introduce you to Allison Hite.
Allison, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
A few years ago, I got a phone call. I didn’t know the number but I picked up anyway. My mom had died that morning, in a traffic accident. —- I didn’t know what to do. I struggled so much, obviously. It was tragic, and the most painful thing I had ever experienced. As the days drifted by, I definitely didn’t want to talk about it. I was convinced that no one out there understood, I was the first person in my friend group to lose a parent. I had no idea how to start to move through my life without parents. I thought that if I talked about how I was feeling, I would just bum people out. I ended up learning that if you mute one emotion, you mute them all.
When you have to carry something really hard, when you have to carry it all alone, it can get really heavy. That’s what happened to me. One night I just had to get it out, get it off, just get it away from me for one second. I managed to make it an open mic, I got on stage and told this story, I talked about how I was struggling. I was terrified but at the end of the night, there was a line of strangers waiting to talk to me, some hugged me, cried with me; I made new friends that I still have today. Sharing about my hardest times wasn’t at all what I thought it would be. It allowed me to connect with people in ways I never knew were possible. Someone did understand. That moment of honesty actually encouraged me and others to keep going and that is why I am here today. A few months later I started the storytelling project called Never, Ever Give Up. Because not everyone can go to an open mic or wants to attach their name and face to their story, but everyone deserves a space to share their pain.
Now, almost 4 years later, the project has expanded into a rotating public art installation, a podcast, and book. It has created an anonymous web of pen pals throughout the region encouraging each other to never, ever give up.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
One lesson I learned is that there are so many people out there learning for this type of connection. Never, Ever Give Up is so grateful to have been able to partner with some many amazing people and organizations throughout the state including: Cleveland Leadership Center, Canalway Partners, Share The River, Destination Cleveland, Citizens Bank, the RTA, Cleveland Neighborhood Progress, IMAX Industries, Keppler Studio, Flats Forward, Let it Out, Peel Dem Layers Back, Heights Libraries, University Circle, Inc., Neighborhood Connections, and Good News Cleveland, and Cleveland Public Library. The project has been able to grow and impact so many people because of the support of the community.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
Never, Ever Give Up is an anonymous storytelling project. The mission is to bear witness to the lived experiences of others in an effort to reduce shame and stigma and build community. We ask people to share one-page, anonymous stories answering the question: what is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do? We have stories about finding the strength to leave an abusive relationship, trying to please others but realizing it’s not worth it, being a 1st generation college student, leaving a job, going through cancer treatment, comforting a mom who just lost her son to suicide. We take all our stories and post them on our Instagram account @NeverEverGiveUpCLE. When we share about our hard times, it makes it easier for others to talk about their hard times. It can help you find your voice, feel less alone. And it can take some weight off your shoulders. We have to tell the truth in order to recover and heal. Think about a broken arm. If you don’t acknowledge your broken arm, how easy is it to heal? How much pain will you be living in? When we share our true stories about hard times, we expose our connectedness, that we all have brokenness, even if it is not equal, we all have it.
In response, our followers and readers write back letters of hope, words of encouragement, support, and connection to total strangers, becoming an integrated part of the network. Our followers tell us the stories make them hopeful, feel less alone, and they are reminded that everyone is going through something they know nothing about, encouraging them to practice gratitude and lead with kindness.
I am most proud of everyone who has contributed, who has been open and vulnerable. It takes courage to tell the truth but it is the most important thing we can do for ourselves and others.
So maybe we end on discussing what matters most to you and why?
As individuals, we often shy away from talking about hard moments. We struggle to admit things happened, to tell the truth about these moments because we feel shame about our pain. We would rather pretend that we are fine. We want everyone to believe we are “normal” and hope that the pain will just go away. This delays our healing and inevitably causes us, our loved ones, and our community, more pain.
These issues we have as individuals then appear at a systemic level. When people in positions of power and privilege won’t tell the truth, won’t acknowledge or admit things, claim that things are fine, they inevitably cause more pain.
We must learn to get up close to our hard moments. We cannot look away. We must learn to acknowledge hard moments; we cannot avoid them anymore. Telling stories, believing, and honoring these stories, is just one small sliver of the work that needs to be done to build a more equitable society.
Contact Info:
- Website: NeverEverGiveUpCLE.com
- Instagram: @neverevergiveupcle
- Facebook: NeverEverGiveUpCLE
