Conversations with Dr. Ashley

Today we’d like to introduce you to Dr. Ashley.

Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
I started working with sexual stories in 2003 as a Sexual Assault Advocate while working on my Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. I went on to get a Master’s Degree in Counseling and later, a Ph.D. in Marriage & Family Therapy. I pursued post-graduate and additional training in Sexual Health and started working with sexual issues in community and private practice settings in 2008. I have worked in many role and settings and have landed in my current practice, Phoenix Ascending where I provide radically open Sex & Relationship Coaching Services. I am passionate about making the “unspeakable,” speakable. One of the ways that I help clients to do this is to be open about my rich history of relationships and sexual adventures. I grew up in a sexually conservative environment where I was slut-shamed and surrounded by sex negativity. Although I wasn’t always aware of it I combated the unhealthy messages I received by becoming more open and seeking out opportunities for sexual enjoyment in consensual and healthy ways. I have explored intimacy within monogamous and varying degrees of non-monogamous relationships. By being open about my Bisexual identity, being a Rape Survivor, and being open about my sexually open and non-judgmental approach to sexuality, I have been able to create an environment for the clients that I work with, which has afforded me the opportunity and privilege to see positive changes in the relationships and sex lives of those I work with. I am truly blessed by the beauty that comes from embracing health sexuality in both my personal and professional life.

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
Working in the Sexual Health field as an informed, yet radical sexual health professional has not been easy. Being in Midwest as a Sexual Health professional is far from easy. Though I have overcome my sexual shames and insecurities, I still face challenges within my own family that create barriers to openness. For example, although I love what I do and talking about what I do, most members of my family prefer to not talk about my professional identity, That is something that folk who do more traditional work than I. For a very long time I was closeted in regards to my personal life. I did not discuss the non-monogamous (ENM) relationship structures that I have experienced or my BIsexuality. The therapy field frowns upon transparency between client(s) and therapist, so while providing. therapeutic approach to sexuality work, I was always hindered by the boundaries that were required by the therapy field. Although boundaries are extremely important, being able to function as a Sex and Relationship Coach allows a lateral approach that affords clients the opportunity to engage in co-created change through the linking of experience and stories. I still carry all the sexual health knowledge that a former Director of the first ever online sexual health program in Ohio (which I was) would have but am able to proceed with an open book approach with my clients. By modeling confidence and transparency regarding sexuality, permission is given to move towards comfort addressing sexual issues, which is typically a large part of any challenge my clients experience.

Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I am known for my extremely provocative, blunt, and open approach. I specialize in the taboo, working to make it less unspeakable and more speakable and accessible as an advocate for sexual liberation and freedom. I encourage clients to use the words and language to talk about sex and sexuality. I work with both individuals and couples and before I meet with anyone for the first time they answer an extensive sexuality and relationship questionnaire. This helps significantly with increasing comfort around the topic of sexuality, which for most, is extremely vulnerable and sometimes uncomfortable) to discuss. I am proud of the passion I have maintained throughout my career in addition to creating a transparent sexual identity in various ways as time has gone on, both personally and professionally. Sexual health challenges that I work with in individuals and couples include: Increasing comfort Communicating sexual needs and desires, Exploring sexual fantasy, Working with ENM/Non-monogamous/Kinky/Swing Lifestyle Couples, Affairs, Prenatal/Postpartum Sexual Challenges, LGBTQIA+ specific sexual/relationship challenges, and Physical challenges impacting sexuality. It is a privilege to do the work that I do!

Where we are in life is often partly because of others. Who/what else deserves credit for how your story turned out?
I have many teachers and close supporters that have remained steadfast in my life, affording me support to do the work that I have done and continue to do.

Pricing:

• Sliding fee scale/payment plan available/Couples Packages/Monthly Subscriptions
• 80-minute Individual Discovery Session: $190
• 80-minute Individual Discovery Session: $300
• 50-minute individual session: $160
• 50-minute individual session: $175

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.relationshipandsexualhealthcoaching.com
• Instagram: @dr_sex_and_relationships
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.love.sex.relationships
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-ashley-81680b309/